【Married Women’s Sex Party】

Britain is Married Women’s Sex Partyin meltdown today after new research revealed we should be eating ten portions of fruit and veg a day to cut the risk of early death.

The study by Imperial College London analysed all available research on populations worldwide. It found that while the recommended five portions per day reduced the risk of disease, the greatest benefit comes from eating ten portions of fruit and veg each day.

Countless dismayed Brits vented their frustration at the news on Twitter -- a response that isn't entirely surprising given that two thirds of Brits struggle to eat five portions per day.

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Some declared the new advice "bollocks".

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And, others quipped about the possible -- yet slightly dubious -- ways to get your ten a day.

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And some are taking the news with a pinch of salt.

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Do piña coladas count as one of our ten a day?