【1985 Archives】

Oh poor Papa John.

985 ArchivesNFL protests are hurting his pizza chain's sales, Papa John's founder and CEO John Schnatter complained on a conference call Wednesday, even though he thought the league had the problem "nipped in the bud" last year. The company said on the call that it was the NFL's biggest sponsor.

Colin Kaepernick and other players were making a statement about police brutality and racial inequality -- but did they even stop to think about how their actions might affect in-store sales of multinational pizza corporations?

No, they didn't. But, also, maybe Papa John's has some other problems, like ...

Consumers can choose food items that don't taste like sponges soaked in pizza grease

The fast-casual boom brought us Shake Shack. Sweetgreen, and Panera Bread. If you like pizza, you have more options than ever. LeBron James backs Blaze. Kevin Durant invested in Pieology. There's also MOD Pizza and &pizza.

The point? People have choices now. And no amount of congealed garlic sauce can mask the travesty that is the Chicken Bacon Philly pizza.

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Papa John is creepy as hell

There's a reason the CEO of Pizza Hut isn't in every Pizza Hut commercial. It's because people don't want to watch some random middle-aged guy in an oversized red shirt make awkward conversation with Peyton Manning.

Here he is talking to Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder in a commercial that really speaks to the paper-skinned-billionaire-with-beady-eyes demographic.

John Schnatter is a Trump supporter

John Schnatter (surprise) donated to the Trump campaign and railed against Obamacare. Because you want the person handling your meat and cheese to be sick and underpaid.

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He also once warned that regulations were putting America "on the path to becoming what Germany was in 1867." Is that what you want? To live under the iron fist of Otto von Bismarck? I didn't think so.

Should you boycott Papa John's?

Honestly, you probably already are. So keep doing what you're doing.