【Lina Romay】

Swearing is Lina Romayimpossible on NBC'sThe Good Place,but it's also impossible in this regular place we call Earth if you are a person with autocorrect on your phone.

If you haven't watched the show, here's the deal: The Good Place (or whatever part of the afterlife Eleanor, Chidi, and the gang are in these days) is known for censoring swears to sound like confusing and cutesy words, rather than the ferocious things they're intended as. For example, "Oh shit" would be changed to the much classier, "Oh shirt."

So recently, after autocorrect changed a whopping THREE swear words during a text rant to my BFF Jessye, I came to the realization that trying to swear on an iPhone is just as challenging as trying to swear in The Good Place.

Let us review.

Motherforker, what the duck?

In the Good Place, "fuck" becomes "fork" and yes, you guessed it, "motherfucker" transforms into "motherforker."

But in the world of autocorrect, whenever iPhone users try to say "fuck" they are often end up crackingquacking someone up. It is quite the struggle.

What bullshirt! I'm sick of this shot.

If you are sick of this no-swearing BS, join the club! Sometimes Eleanor just wants to vent and complain about "shit," but all that comes out of her mouth is, "shirt."

Meanwhile, in the world of autocorrect, I'm just over here sounding like I'm astounded by shots. Very ineffective.

In The Good Place,we've heard "bitch" become "bench," "asshole" become "ashhole," and "dick" switch to "dink." It's exhausting, truly.

And even though I'm not on a television show (as far as I know,) autocorrect makes me feel like I'm being censored, too. When I try to type "hell" on my phone it changes to "he'll," and because the feature is ~so unoriginal~ "dick" once again becomes "duck."

And before you give me shot about this, just know I'm not the only person who fears they're living in the Good/Bad/whatever place.

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Yes, the obvious quick fix to this madness would be to disable autocorrect, but IT HELPS ME in other instances, okay?? So until this issue works itself out, I suppose all we can do is sit back, be annoyed, and watch this lovely curse word montage.

Have a great forking/ducking day, everyone.